I wonder if women are better waitresses than men because they're more adept at acting disengenuously and projecting fake smiles.

One time I went into chipotle, and the woman behind the glass said, "cheer up! See, I have to smile and be happy."

This concerned me. I said, "No! You don't have to smile for me! Today, you get a pass."

Who was it who said we're drowning in niceness?

A smiling face can mask the worst turmoil; a straight face can be the most joyous in the world.